Wednesday, October 14, 2009

New development in Mars that has left me in tears:

It turned out the girl had been raped by her stepfather in the past. That's why she's afraid of her boyfriend, afraid to get physical with him. Her boyfriend suspected she might have been raped and pretended to try to get physical, but she screamed and cried and his worst fears were confirmed.

She ran and hid in one corner of his apartment, sobbing. And he quietly asked her who did it. And then he teared up. His head was bent down and his tears slid down the bridge of his nose. I think I mentioned before how Vic's acting really impressed me. This really blew me away.

I know a lot of people who aren't impressed by Taiwanese dramas, but I think back on all the times I'd scoffed at those dramas and realise how much I've missed out. Think of all the three-dimensional characters I could have come up with, and the plotlines I could have gleaned. Think how much richer that would have made my stories.

Mars is really something, if not mind-blowing.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I had a strange dream last night.

Someone had committed suicide. Jumped off the building. I was there at the first level, standing before the elevator that looked uncannily like that at the NUS Co-op. I didn't know the guy who jumped, but his younger brother was there, sitting on the stone steps, rocking. I didn't know him either, but I approached him and asked him how he was doing. Which was a stupid thing to ask, I know, but I had to start somewhere.

He was disinclined to speak to me initially, but after some gentle prodding, he gave me his name. Strangely, I can still remember it. It was so distinct. Michael. Michael Tam. I don't know any Michaels - or any whom I'm remotely close to, at least - much less a Michael Tam. But what rocked me was the way he spoke to me. He was afraid to do anything, not even say a word, because he didn't know what else might happen if he did.

And today, I watched Mars. It turned out the guy's twin brother killed himself by jumping off the building.

Monday, October 12, 2009

I've been busy these few days.

Busy collecting ideas.

This might come as a shock, but I'm watching a Taiwanese drama series called Mars now. It stars Vic Zhou and Barbie Hsu (or however you spell their names). This sudden addiction to drama series was sparked by my sudden reminiscence that led me to watch Meteor Garden again. I remember how it was all the rage when I was about 11 or 12. Everyone watched it, or at least had heard of it. My friends and I were nuts about it, if only because it was so darn romantic. I know, what did we know about romance at the age of 11 or 12, right? But it's not like I'm any wiser about it now, at 19, so what the hell.

I'd intended to take a detached view this time round. I'd laugh at the cheesy lines and cringe-worthy acting. Honestly, I don't even know what made me decide to watch it. Maybe it's the drought that's come over the romantic genre. No romance novels, no romance TV shows. It is inherently a feminine desire, I suppose, to crave such ostensibly frivolous escapism.

So I watched it.

I did laugh at the cheesy lines. But what surprised me was how well-developed the characters were. As a writer - as well as an emotionally more matured person than I was at 11 (I hope) - it struck me immediately how special each character was. No two characters had the same personality, and each was conveyed through their actions and speech. There was subtlety in that, and I found myself drawn in by the show once again.

I remember how I rooted for Si (this arrogant a-hole who rules the school, along with his 3 other friends that forms the legendary F4) and the female protagonist, SC. But this time round, I found Lei (oh, Lei...) the more matured one, the more noble one, the more tenderhearted and long-suffering one.

Just after a few episodes of watching how Vic conveyed his character (I was more impressed by his acting skills than I'd originally expected), I slept on it and came up with a Shiny New Idea for a new story. I'd thought of a plot beforehand, that day when I went to the pier with my dad, but I was lacking in the character department. I had the conflict, and the setting, but the characters were still the stiff, two-dimensional stick figures I kept coming up with. This might be it. This might be the key to creating someone I had never dealt with before.

Oh, and I watched Meteor Garden 2 after finishing the first one. And can I just say that it really wasn't as good as the first. It was too draggy, and Si's amnesia was overly dragged out (spanning 15 episodes or so). Plus, they introduced this new girl (played by Michelle Saram) who was supposed to be Si's new love interest. Everyone protested vehemently then, and swore they would boycott the show if Si didn't end up with SC. So the producers had to change the scenes a little and let them end up together after all. Thank goodness. But that leaves my brokenhearted Lei all alone again. I actually cried several times while watching it, believe it or not. I don't usually cry over romance movies because I'm unable to relate to the situation or the characters, but Vic's acting and the storyline (where SC was left bereft because Si had fallen for someone else, after ALL that they've been through) was incredibly moving. So, yes. I am a sap. I am a woman, emotional and irrational. And now I need my fix of romantic narratives.

So I'm watching Mars now. It's a lot like the story I'm planning out now, about two damaged people who find the future in each other. Mars is about this bad boy motorbike racer who has a dark secret, and who falls in love with a shy, autistic girl. His twin committed suicide and his mother died when he was 5, and he's deeply traumatised by their deaths, so much so that he displays sudden violent tendencies and had been locked in a psych ward by his father before. So the story's about how the two of them make each other face their fears and dark pasts, and lean towards each other when their inner demons get the better of them. It's a lot more intense than Meteor Garden, obviously, but I prefer MG, because of the comic relief and the romance (oh, Lei...), though Mars is shaping up to be just as good.

Friday, October 02, 2009

I just have to post this excerpt from Sarah Dessen's blog (25 Sept '09):

This week, I went to do a little fall shopping for my daughter. She needed jeans, so I headed to Gap, because they were having a sale and keep sending me coupons. (How can I resist, I ask? How?) Anyway, I found a cute pair I liked and went to double check the size. Then I saw they were called ... Boyfriend Jeans. For a two year old? REALLY? I mean, I get it: there are also bootcut, and flare, and skinny (which is a whole other topic, don't even get me started on skinny jeans for toddlers). There's just something about the word BOYFRIEND being associated with my baby that is just plain weird. I pointed it out to the guy who was working the register. "I mean, she shouldn't HAVE a boyfriend at this age," I said. He agreed, and added, helpfully, "And if she did, she shouldn't be wearing his jeans." Amen, brother. Amen!

I just thought that was really funny. Also, thanks to the book prize I got from SA, I just bought my copy of Along for the Ride! It takes place in Colby, also the setting for Keeping the Moon, one of my favourites from her. Can't wait to read it. Lovelovelove Sarah Dessen.

Right now, I'm reading Dark Places, by Gillian Flynn, the author of the MULTI award-winning book, Sharp Objects. And can I just say that I am totally blown away? The writing style is gritty, as usual, and so much more compelling than her debut novel, which is saying a lot. It's about this girl, Libby Day, who testified that her older brother killed off her entire family, when she was 7 (I think). Right now, broke, she chances upon this Kill Club (a club where impassioned people come together and discuss a case and try to take matters into their own hands and get to the bottom of unsolved mysteries), which is willing to fund her revisitation of the crime. As the novel progresses, Libby finds that maybe her testimony was a mistake, after all.

The thing about this novel is that it's not just any old whodunit. It explores the dynamics of the Day family, and analyses what went wrong - is it the irresponsible, absent father who is a drunkard and gambler, or the weak mother who can't make decisions or makes bad ones and is always waiting for someone to save her and solve her problems? Or it is simply the fact that they're poor farmers who haven't seen enough food or money for years now? Is that why the kids, especially Ben (Libby's older brother) turned towards Devil-worship and became estranged from his family?

Plus, Gillian displays her writing chops by inserting chapters throughout the story in which the day on which the murder took place is told through a third-person narration of the characters (Ben, Patty - his mother, Runner - his father). Wow, that was a long-ass sentence. I apologise for that. What I mean is, chapter 1 - Libby (1st-person), chapter 2 - Ben (3rd-person), chapter 3 - Libby (1st-person), chapter 4 - Patty (3rd-person), etc. You get the idea. It's absolutely brilliant how Gillian was able to oscillate between these different forms of narratives. It takes A LOT of skill. You have to make sure the details tally, like what Libby learns NOW corresponds with what went down that day, 2 Jan 1985. Very skillful. And Libby's voice is consistent throughout the story - gritty, cynical, desensitised, although a vulnerable side peeks out at times.

My goodness. This woman is a genius. Thank you, wonderful writers like Gillian Flynn, Alice Hoffman and Sarah Dessen, for producing such top-rate literary works. Gillian's Sharp Objects won two Dagger Awards, and was a finalist for the Edgar Awards. Wow. For a DEBUT. Of course, she's probably written many more books before this and have a lot of unpublished manuscripts in her drawer. Still, her debut novel. Wow. Just wow. Go, you.
I'm in my Philosophy lecture now. The number of people turning up for lecture seems to be dwindling week by week. Well. Apart from one reason that I won't mention here, the other is that there's webcast for it, so that's probably why some people don't really see the need to turn up for it physically.

Anyway, I just had my Sociology of Pop Culture tutorial, where we discussed pop culture icons in representing gender and ethnicity. It was rewarding, to say the least. For our Sociology tutorial, we generally just sit in a classroom and then take turns proposing an idea each, with the tutor starting the ball rolling. He gave Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as a representation of Asian American masculine figures. Some others proposed the idea of a shift towards androgyny in fashion trends (eg, boyfriend blazers and jeans, etc), as well as a move towards curveless models. Someone else talked about Barbie dolls as a representation of the ideal female, with her Kelly doll, so she's seen as a mother figure, whereas Ken doll drives a car and looks cool and often isn't sold with the Kelly doll, so it seems as though he doesn't have any responsibilities. Which is a really cool way of looking at it. The whole Barbie, Ken and Kelly doll package also represents the traditional family with heterosexual parents. And lately, Barbie has been modified to look like a real woman, and other forms of Barbie have also been created to encompass other ethnicities.

I talked about Disney's princesses, like Jasmine and Snow White. There wasn't enough time to talk about Ariel, because I also talked about Victoria's Secret Angels. 'Angels' - deification of women by males in a male-driven industry (backstage crew is mostly comprised of males). The Angels pander to male fetishes, the male gaze, but also send out messages of female empowerment because they have curves (eg, Doutzen Kroes, one of my favourite models) and are tanned, toned and strong (eg, Alessandra Ambrosio). Lately, though, VS is moving towards skinnier models like Miranda Kerr (only like her face, but not her body, because it's so skinny I feel awkward for her when I look at her). I don't like this trend. VS models are the only models I like, because they look strong yet feminine. Why feature skinny minnies like Miranda Kerr when we already have (way too many) catalogue models like Chanel Iman and Kate Moss? So what does this all say about the male gaze? And the heightened female consciousness of that male gaze? Why are we so conscious of how we look, as compared to guys, who just pull on a polo shirt and berms and are so secure in their skin? Male ego is one thing, but I think women are still inherently dependent on men, so they still see having a soulmate as their ultimate goal for security in life. Males are more financially and physically independent, so they don't care for that as much as women do.

For Jasmine, she's one of the sexiest Disney princesses, and on YouTube, I see how guys slobber over her. So even if she's in her ethnic costume, her outfit is sexually suggestive. Plus, even though she fends off Jafar's advances throughout the show, she ends up using her feminine wiles to distract him so that Aladdin can save the day. She also, despite being Oriental, has Western ideas of freedom and Aladdin is therefore the person who represents adventure and escapism, and she ends up running off with him and ignores her father's wishes of arranged marriage.

Snow White is constantly pining for her damn prince, wishing he'd sweep her off in his white horse and save her. She does end up being saved by him too, as does Sleeping Beauty, so does that suggest that women are the weaker sex and can only be saved ultimately by men? Plus, Snow White offers to do the domestic chores for the 7 short little men so that she can stay with them, because them 7 little guys, being guys, are portrayed as being unable to clean up after themselves and shouldn't be bothered with it, since the male duty is to go out and work (in the mines, in the dwarves' case) and then come home and have dinner ready for them. And her beauty, demureness and domesticity even wins over Grumpy.

And then someone else talked about magazines like Cleo and 17, and how it defined the feminine identity, etc etc. And someone else mentioned gay culture and pointed out how it's not so in the closet anymore, and how butches in girls' schools are idolised, while effeminate guys get their asses kicked in boys' schools as the ass-kickers assert their masculinity, etc etc. Other magazine examples include T3, some cars and girls magazines for guys. Someone said the girls have absolutely nothing to do for the cars, but the tutor suggested the power of the cars is translated into a (phallic) power to attain the girls. Okay, so there is a link after all, if you put it that way. Objectification of women is still a prevalent practice now - jeez, guys.

And then there was the James Bond example, where the women are given horribly degrading names like Octopussy (my lips curl in disgust). But a reversal of roles is observed, when Halle Berry in Die Another Day was the one in a bikini (or, as Ris Low says, 'bigini') coming out of the water, it is now Daniel Craig coming out of the water in his tighties in Casino Royale.

Sex and the City was mentioned too, as was Desperate Housewives, and it was pointed out how that triggered and fuelled the trend of 'cougarism'. Sarah Jessica Parker's character, Carrie Bradshaw, was the one who dreamt about marrying Mr Big - thereby reinforcing the idea of marriage as something that completes a woman, as the ultimate goal that women should strive towards - while Kim Cattrall's character, Samantha Jones, was the cougar who spied on her neighbour changing. Desperate Housewives promotes promiscuity, because of the proliferate affairs - clandestine or otherwise so - throughout the show.

And then we moved on to talking about the representation of women by the media. There were only 4 guys in our class, so it sort of felt like a women's book group when we talked about the model issue and how they are becoming skinnier, etc. While curves were celebrated in the past (see Brigitte Bardot, Marilyn Monroe, etc), thin is in now, as seen by examples like Chanel Iman (go google her if you don't know who she is), Jessica Stam and Agyness Deyn. I like Doutzen Kroes because she's got an angelic face, but womanly curves. Her beauty is breath-taking. Oh, and am I the only who thinks she kinda resembles Carolyn Murphy?

We talked about a lot more, like Buffy and Grey's Anatomy, The OC, Gossip Girl, Britney Spears and Madonna, etc. It's so cool how we get to talk about that and analyse all these pop culture icons for school.